Written by: Juana
Story Summary: Ben finally gets the courage to confront his father and deal with the demons of the past, only to learn that having an abusive alcoholic father might be the lesser of two evils.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story. They belong to the brilliant writers and creators of the hit WB show.
Authors Note: I want to thank everyone for their patience in waiting for my next story. I hope this was worth the wait.
INT: FELICITY’S ROOM-DAY
FELICITY IS STILL ASLEEP IN BED. BEN IS SITTING ON THE SIDE OF THE BED. HE GETS UP OFF THE BED AND PULLS ON HIS JACKET. HE WALKS OVER TO FELICITY’S SIDE OF THE BED AND LEANS OVER KISSING HER ON THE FOREHEAD AND THEN LAYS A NOTE ON THE PILLOW BESIDE HER.
INT: JULIE’S ROOM-DAY
EVEN THOUGH IT IS EARLY MORNING IT IS APPARENT THAT JULIE AND LYNN HAVE BEEN UP FOR A WHILE. JULIE’S FACE IS STREAKED WITH TEARS AND LYNN IS BOTH UPSET AND ANGRY AT THE SAME TIME.
JULIE: I just think it’s for the best…for the both of us Lynn.
LYNN: The both of us? The only person this works for is you… let’s at least be honest about that.
JULIE: I’m sorry. I just… I can’t be the person you want me to be Lynn.
LYNN: Yes you can… because you were… up until you met *him.*
JULIE: This has nothing to do with Marc.
LYNN: That’s a load of crap Julie… this is all about that self-serving bastard.
JULIE: I know that’s what you think Lynn, but its not… it’s about me… about what I need.
LYNN: All right, so tell me then… let me help. What do you need?
JULIE: I need to end this… to just call whatever we have left quits. Before we both end up hating each other.
LYNN: And I’m just supposed to accept that? To let you just walk away and destroy my life?
JULIE: Please Lynn… you’re just making this harder.
LYNN: Well excuse me for not making this all champagne and roses for you Jul. But you’re asking me to give up on the one girl who means the world to me.
JULIE: It’s not working Lynn… Don’t you see that?
LYNN: What I see… what’s coming across loud and clear is that you *don’t* want this to work… not that it can’t or isn’t.
JULIE: Fine… if that’s what you need to believe… then okay. But you have to know Lynn that we were falling apart a long time before Marc entered the picture.
LYNN: If that’s what you need to believe.
LYNN GETS UP FROM THE CHAIR HE IS SITTING IN AND STARTS PUTTING ON HIS COAT. WHEN HE FINISHES HE TURNS BACK AROUND.
LYNN: (cont.) What happened to her Julie?
LYNN: The girl I fell in love with.
JULIE: You cheated on her.
LYNN: That’s just an excuse and you know it. Yes… I kissed Kiki. A mistake I regret making… but I never once gave my heart to someone else… I couldn’t because it already belonged to you… but you… you had no problem hopping in bed with someone else and falling in love with him behind my back. Why?
JULIE: (pauses) I don’t know.
LYNN: Great…that will get me through the rough days ahead.
LYNN OPENS THE DOOR AND EXITS…. SLAMMING THE DOOR AS HE GOES. AS HE EXITS HE ALMOST RUNS SMACK INTO BEN.
LYNN: Ben… man sorry. I guess I wasn’t exactly focusing on where I was going.
BEN: It’s okay. Hey are you okay?
LYNN: Fine… for someone who just had his heart stomped on.
LYNN: The one and only. I feel like such a fool. I mean I had every intention of forgiving her for what she did. I was willing to work it out and she tells me that it’s unfixable… not because she slept with that low-life, but because I kissed Kiki.
BEN: I’m sorry man.
LYNN: I should have listened to you. I should have told her about Kiki. Maybe then this wouldn’t have happened.
BEN: It probably wouldn’t have mattered. If a girl is ready to go… she’s gonna go. Unless you dump her of course… then she *won’t* leave.
LYNN: Where did you hear that?
BEN: It’s just a theory.
LYNN: One I hope you don’t aspire to… or we will be walking that lonely road together.
BEN: Nah…not really. I was just trying to make you feel better.
LYNN: Thanks. So are you headed to Felicity’s room?
BEN: No. Actually I was headed back to the loft… and then I have something I need to take care of.
LYNN: So how are you and Felicity doing?
BEN: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather talk about this later?
LYNN: I’d just like to hear a story with a happy ending for once.
BEN: Okay…well…we’re doing really great.
LYNN: Good… that’s good. You hold on tight to her Ben… cause she’s one of the good ones. One of the people who knows that love ain’t all sunshine and daisies. She’s a worker.
BEN: A worker?
LYNN: Yeah… the relationship has a problem… she’s willing to work on it.
BEN: Oh… yeah she is. Well… I gotta go. Are you gonna be okay?
LYNN: Yeah… I’ll be fine. Marc better hope he stays out of my way though… or I make no promises.
BEN: Yeah… If I see him… I’ll be sure to let him know.
LYNN: You do that buddy… it will probably saved me some major jail time.
INT: FELICITY’S ROOM-DAY
FELICITY IS WAKING UP. UNCONCIOUSLY SHE REACHES OVER FOR BEN BUT ONLY FINDS AN EMPTY SPOT. SHE SLOWLY OPENS BOTH EYES.
FELICITY LOOKS OVER AT BEN’S SIDE AND SEES A NOTE ON THE PILLOW. SHE OPENS IT AND READS IT.
BEN: (VO) Felicity… I just wanted to tell you that last night was amazing… you’re amazing. I wanted to tell you that in person… but you looked so peaceful and beautiful while you were sleeping that I decided a note would have to do… and I’ll make it up to you later. I decided this morning while I was lying in bed that despite my reservations… it is time to face my father. So that’s where I’m headed. I’ll call you when I get home… and hopefully we can get together… cause I have a feeling I’m gonna need your love and support more than I’ve ever needed them before. Love Ben.
AFTER FELICITY READS THE NOTE SHE REACHES OVER FOR HER TAPE RECORDER AND PUSHES PLAY.
FELICITY: Dear Sally… God… somebody pinch me! Last night Ben told me that I was the one woman he couldn’t live without… okay yeah… that’s really good. But then this morning he left me this awesome note. I can’t explain it Sally but I have never felt so connected to Ben as I did last night. I finally feel like all the hard work we’ve put into this relationship is being rewarded. I mean I’ve known for a long time that Ben loved me… but now… I feel it. And for the first time I feel so secure in this relationship… like it would take a gigantic force of nature to knock us off course. Oh God… maybe I shouldn’t have said that out loud… maybe I just jinxed it. No I’m being silly… I am just so happy Sally… so deliriously happy.
INT: RIVERTON PLAZA HOTEL-DAY
BEN IS AGAIN STANDING IN FRONT OF ROOM #305 BUT THIS TIME HE KNOCKS. HIS FATHER WHO IS HOLDING ONTO A BOTTLE OF OPENED WHISKEY OPENS THE DOOR.
BEN: Yeah… I guess I came at a bad time… Why don’t you give that to me?
MR.COVINGTON RELUCTANTLY HANDS OVER THE BOTTLE AND BEN STEPS INTO THE ROOM WITH IT. HE GOES OVER TO THE SINK IN THE SUITE AND POURS THE REMAINDER OF THE BOTTLE DOWN THE SINK.
MR.COVINGTON: I can just order another one you know.
BEN: I know… but that’s doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you keep that one.
MR.COVINGTON: Why are you here Ben?
BEN: I thought we needed to talk. What’s going on dad?
MR.COVINGTON: Life… life is going on.
BEN: Where’s mom?
MR. COVINGTON: Probably on her way over to your place. She would want to say goodbye before she leaves.
BEN: She’s leaving?
MR. COVINGTON: You seem so surprised? I would think this would make you happy… she’s doing what you want. She’s leaving me.
BEN: She’s leaving you?
MR. COVINGTON: Actually she’s left me… past tense.
BEN: I don’t understand… what happened?
MR. COVINGTON: You happened.
MR. COVINGTON: I said… you happened. You’re her world Ben. You always have been. She would do anything for you. She married me… but she’s faithful and loyal only to you.
BEN: (getting angry) And who’s fault do you think that is?
MR. COVINGTON: Yours of course.
BEN: You would think that. God… I came here today because I thought you were different… that you had really done some changing… but you're not. You’re still the same selfish bastard.
MR. COVINGTON: You're calling me a bastard? Oh that’s a joke! You’re the bastard here son… that’s right mommy’s little pride and joy… you’re the bastard here.
MR. COVINGTON: Oh… check out the look on your face… I have waited years to see that look.
BEN: What are you talking about?
MR. COVINGTON: I’m saying that you are the reason my life is such hell… you and you’re lying, cheating mother.
BEN: I don’t understand. If you were so unhappy why didn’t you just leave?
MR. COVINGTON: Because I owed you one… you and your mother. She ruined my life… so I ruined hers.
BEN: You're not making any sense.
MR. COVINGTON: Then let me spell it out for you…. you are not my son… you’re not mine.
BEN: You're lying.
MR. COVINGTON: No, Ben for the first time you’re finally hearing the truth. You are not my kid… you’re somebody else’s mistake.
AS MR. COVINGTON FINISHES HIS CONFESSION. BEN GRABS HIM AND BACKS HIM UP AGAINST A WALL.
BEN: Take it back! Take all your lies back!
MRS. COVINGTON OPENS THE DOOR AND COMES RUNNING INTO THE ROOM.
MRS. COVINGTON: Benjamin!….Please don’t hurt him.
BEN: You don’t know what he said… he’s just trying to hurt me.
MRS. COVINGTON: Please Benjamin… let him go.
BEN RELUCTANTLY LETS HIS FATHER GO.
BEN: Tell her what you told me.
MR. COVINGTON: I told him the truth… he’s just too thick to believe it.
MR. COVINGTON STARTS TO SHOVE BEN AND BEN ONCE AGAIN GRABS HIM AND PRESSES HIS FACE INTO THE WALL WITH HIS HAND PINNED BEHIND HIM.
BEN: I’m not ten anymore… I can defend myself… so how does this feel…being on the receiving end of the pain.
MR. COVINGTON: You were a wuss when you were ten and your still a wuss… a mama’s boy.
BEN TIGHTENS HIS GRIP ON HIS FATHERS ARM. HIS FATHER WINCES IN PAIN.
MRS. COVINGTON: Ben… you’re going to break his arm.
BEN LETS HIS FATHER GO ONCE AGAIN.
BEN: I should have broken your arm. I owe you plenty of those.
MR. COVINGTON: I taught you to be a man! A real man can deal with pain.
BEN: Yeah… when I see a real man… I’ll ask him.
MRS. COVINGTON: Please will someone tell me what’s going on here?
BEN: I came to talk… to try and mend fences and he was drinking…
MR. COVINGTON: You came to make sure I was out of your mother’s life.
BEN: I would like nothing better than to see you leave… that’s true. But I came here today to try and fix things for mom.
MRS. COVINGTON: Ben… I appreciate that… I really do… but…
MR. COVINGTON: This is the part where she tells you it’s too late… cause she’s already given up on me.
BEN: I can’t say I blame her.
MR. COVINGTON: I wonder if you’d be so incline to side with her if you heard the real truth.
BEN: What that garbage about me not being your son?… although it would be a dream come true… I know it’s not.
MR. COVINGTON: Tell him the truth Maria.
MRS. COVINGTON: Oh… God… Andy you didn’t… please tell me you didn’t.
MR. COVINGTON: Oh but I did.
BEN: Did what? Mom what’s going on? Is what Dad said true?
MRS. COVINGTON: Benjamin… I’m so sorry… I only did it to protect you.
BEN: Protect me? What did you do mom?
MRS. COVINGTON: Andy… I should have told you this a long time ago… but you never loved me… I didn’t think you would ever love Ben either… so I lied to you.
MR. COVINGTON: What?
MRS. COVINGTON: I know it was wrong of me. But I was scared. You were always angry about everything and whenever I threatened to leave you said you would take Ben and disappear if you even thought I was thinking about leaving… I couldn’t let you do that.
MR. COVINGTON: What are you saying Maria?
MRS. COVINGTON: I told you Ben wasn’t your son to protect him. I never dreamed you would react the way you did. And once I told the lie… I couldn’t take it back. I thought you would just leave… and that Ben and I could get on with our lives… I wanted you to. But you stayed.
BEN’S DAD SITS DOWN AGAINST THE WALL AND BURIES HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS.
BEN: You told dad I wasn’t his?
MRS. COVINGTON: It was to protect you Ben.
BEN: So all this time… the reason he hated me so much is because *you* lied to him.
MRS. COVINGTON: I never meant for it to turn out the way it did.
BEN: But you kept living the lie mom… even if you suspected that was why he treated us so badly…you should have told him the truth.
MRS. COVINGTON: He would have taken you away from me Ben… I couldn’t have bared that.
BEN: So instead you made me bare years of abuse at his hands. You had the ability to stop it all and you just kept letting it happen. He beat me and he broke both my arms and nose and you stood by and let it happen. Why?
MRS. COVINGTON: Because I loved you… because I believed I was doing what was best for you.
BEN: Best for me? And if he had killed me? Would that have been best for me? Because we both know that his rages were out of control.
MRS. COVINGTON: Ben… I’m sorry. I just thought I was doing what was right. Wether he had known the truth or not he was a violent man… and an alcoholic.
BEN: Did you ever think maybe thinking he was raising someone else’s son and the fact that his wife cheated on him might have contributed to that… huh? Did that ever cross your mind mom?
MRS. COVINGTON: Yes… but I told you it was too late… He never would have believed me.
BEN: You don’t know that. You didn’t give him a chance. You forced all of us to live a lie.
MRS. COVINGTON: I don’t know what else to say Ben except… I’m sorry.
BEN: You’re sorry? That’s it… you put me in a situation that scarred my body and my mind forever and you think being sorry is enough?
MRS. COVINGTON: What do you want me to say? Just tell me what I need to do to make this better.
BEN: You can’t. The opportunity to make this better passed you up years ago. I grew up respecting and admiring you for all you went through. I thought you endured all the years of suffering for me. Because you didn’t want me to grow up without a father… as shabby of a father as he was. But I get it now. You stayed out of guilt… guilt for the lie you had told him. You endured the punishment not because you loved him… but because you thought you deserved it. And that’s why you made me endure it too.
MRS. COVINGTON: Ben…no please…. listen to me. That’s not it at all.
BEN: Save it mom… because I’ve heard enough for one day. I know the truth now and what I do from here is my choice. It took me years to get to this place and I believed a lot of really bad things about myself to excuse the way he treated you. But I’m done making excuses for him and for you. I came here today to try and get back a father and all I did was lose a mother.
MRS. COVINGTON: (crying) Ben…
BEN WALKS OVER TO HIS FATHER WHO IS STILL SITTING IN THE CORNER WITH HIS FACE BURIED IN HIS HANDS. HE KNEELS DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM.
MR. COVINGTON LOOKS UP. HIS FACE IS TEAR STREAKED.
MR. COVINGTON: Yes?
BEN: I’m sorry… for the both of us.
MR. COVINGTON: Ben… can you ever forgive me?
BEN: I don’t know. Knowing you had a motive for hating me doesn’t make the beatings and abuse any less painful or scarring. I just need some time…I can’t say right now where our relationship is headed.
MR. COVINGTON: Your mother loves you.
BEN: I know… but that just makes this worse.
BENS DAD AWKWARDLY HUGS HIM… REALLY HUGS HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME. BUT BEN DOESN’T HUG HIM BACK.
BEN: (cont.) I have to go.
BEN’S MOM IS LAYING DOWN ON THE BED… CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY. BEN TAKES ONE LAST LOOK AT HER AND LEAVES.
INT: FELICITY’S ROOM-NIGHT.
FELICITY IS STUDYING IN HER ROOM. SHE KEEPS GLANCING OVER AT THE CLOCK. FINALLY THERE IS A KNOCK AT HER DOOR AND SHE ANSWERS IT TO FIND A VERY UPSET BEN THERE.
FELICITY: Thank god… I was so worried about you. Your mom has called here like a dozen times. Ben what is going on… she seemed really upset.
BEN: She didn’t tell you?
FELICITY: No…are you okay? Did you have another fight with your dad?
FELICITY SITS DOWN ON THE BED AND BEN COMES TO SIT BESIDE HER.
BEN: Worse… much worse.
FELICITY TAKES BEN INTO HER ARMS AND PROCEEDS TO TRY AND COMFORT HIM. HE NESTLES HIS HEAD INTO HER SHOULDER AND BEGINS TO WEEP. FELICITY RUNS HER FINGERS THROUGH HIS HAIR AND KISSES THE SIDE OF HIS FACE.
FELICITY: Did you want to talk about it?
BEN: Not yet. I just want to be here with you… just like this for now… if that’s okay.
FELICITY LAYS DOWN ON THE BED AND PULLS BEN DOWN WITH HER. HE CRADLES INTO HER ARMS LIKE A LITTLE BOY AND RESTS HIS HEAD ON HER CHEST. SHE SMOOTHES HIS HAIR BACK AND LIGHTLY KISSES HIS FOREHEAD. HE CLOSES HIS EYES AND BEGINS TO SILENTLY WEEP AGAIN.
SALLY: (VO) Dear Felicity… all relationships can be tricky. I’m glad to hear that you and Ben are doing so well. I know he still has issues with his father and I wish him the best in figuring that relationship out. Often times when we confront the past and the problems it has brought us it helps us to let go and move on with our futures. Hopefully in confronting his past troubles with his father he will finally be able to let go of the demons that plague him. Family is a once in a life time thing… you can’t change who your family is so you learn to accept them warts and all. Help Ben remember this as he struggles to understand why his father was not the father he wanted him to be. Love Sally.