Meaning Of A Kiss
Written by: Juana
Story summary: Felicity and Ben struggle to fix things in the aftermath of the kiss between Ben and Tiffany. But to work things out may require more than Felicity has to give at the moment.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story. They belong to the brilliant writers and creators of the hit WB show.
INT. FOLEY HALL-DAY
BEN IS SITTING ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF FELICITY’S DOOR…SLEEPING. HE HAS BEEN THERE ALL NIGHT.
FELICITY: (VO to Sally) Dear Sally…I don’t even know where to begin this time…something happened…something…big.
FLASHBACK TO FELICITY TRYING TO GET A CAB OUTSIDE OF TIFFANY’S APT. BEN COMES RUNNING OUT.
BEN: Felicity wait…please.
FELICITY: (very angry and upset) Leave me alone Ben!
BEN: Can we please just go somewhere and talk about this?
FELICITY: No!
BEN: No?
FELICITY: That’s right.
BEN: Felicity you are blowing this completely out of proportion.
FELICITY: Don’t do that…don’t try and make me feel like I am the person who is wrong here…you were the one *kissing* her.
FELICITY IS STILL TRYING TO WAVE DOWN A CAB. FINALLY ONE STOPS. FELICITY OPENS THE DOOR AND BEN SHUTS IT AGAIN.
CAB DRIVER: In or out kids…make a choice…I don’t have all day to sit here.
FELICITY OPENS DOOR AGAIN AND BEN SHUTS IT AGAIN.
FELICITY: Stop that!
BEN: Then listen to me.
FELICITY: I’m sorry is that a request or an order?
BEN: (hands driver a five) We won’t be needing you.
CAB DRIVER: (looks at Felicity) Are you sure miss?
BEN: (more forceful) We’re sure.
DRIVER LOOKS AT FELICITY AND THEN DRIVES OFF.
FELICITY: This is ridiculous Ben…you can’t keep me from getting in every cab I stop.
FELICITY STARTS TRYING TO WAVE ANOTHER CAB DOWN. BEN GRABS HER ARM AND PULLS IT DOWN.
FELICITY JERKS AWAY FROM HIS TOUCH.
FELICITY: Don’t touch me!
BEN IS STARTLED BY THIS REMARK
BEN: Help me out here Felicity…what can I do to make this better?
FELICITY: Nothing…just leave me alone.
BEN: You don’t mean that.
FELICITY: Right now….yes I do.
BEN: You can’t do this. You have to give me a chance.
FELICITY: To what? Break my heart more?
BEN: To explain.
FINALLY A CAB PULLS UP. FELICITY OPENS THE DOOR AND GETS IN. BEN IS STANDING AT THE OPEN DOOR.
BEN: Please? (no response from Felicity) Look at me Felicity.
FELICITY RELUCTANTLY LOOKS AT BEN. HE LOOKS VERY UPSET.
BEN: (cont.) I know that I screwed up in there…I know that…and I’m sorry.
FELICITY: I know you’re sorry Ben…believe me…I’m sorry too.
BEN: (pleading) Felicity…
FELICITY: Please Ben…don’t do this…just let me go.
BEN SLOWLY CLOSES THE DOOR. AND THE TAXI DRIVES OFF AS HE WATCHES.
CUT TO: FOLEY HALL-DAY
FELICITY SEES BEN SLEEPING IN HER DOORWAY AND STOPS…TRYING TO MAKE A DECISION.
FELICITY: (VO to Sally) So an entire day had passed since the *incident*, but I still couldn’t get the image of Ben kissing Tiffany back… out of my mind. Which is kind of ironic considering I must have seen them kissing like a thousand times in high school…it bugged me even then…but now it was like a knife to my heart.
FELICITY WALKS UP AND SHAKES BEN. HE WAKES UP IN A GROGGY STATE BUT AS SOON AS HE SEES FELICITY HE JUMPS UP.
FELICITY: What are you doing here Ben?
BEN: I was waiting for you…where have you been?
FELICITY: I just needed to get away…from you. And I knew if I stayed here you would find me.
BEN: Oh…are you okay?
FELICITY: I’m fine…just a little tired.
BEN: I guess I’ll leave then…
BEN STARTS TO WALK AWAY.
FELICITY: Wait.
BEN TURNS BACK AROUND.
BEN: Yeah?
FELICITY: Come inside…so we can…talk.
BEN: Really? Are you sure?
FELICITY: Yes
BEN AND FELICITY WALK INTO HER ROOM AND SHE CLOSES THE DOOR.
FELICITY: (cont.) I know you want a chance to explain…but first just let me tell you something.
BEN: Okay.
FELICITY: What I did yesterday…eavesdropping on you…it was wrong…I shouldn’t have done it. Part of me even wishes that I hadn’t…but I did…and as a result I got burned…seeing you kissing Tiffany…well I can’t think of a worse punishment…but all that aside Ben…you made promises to me…you said I would never regret trusting you…I regret it.
BEN: Please Felicity you have to understand that what you saw was a fluke…a mistake. It didn’t mean anything.
FELICITY: It did to me…
BEN: I understand that…I do. But try to look at it from a different point of view…mine.
FELICITY: I don’t understand.
BEN: I know there is no excuse for what I did…for what I let happen. And believe me I am not trying in any way to dismiss your pain. But there are some things…there are reasons I was confused.
FELICITY: What reasons?
BEN: It’s not that I have feelings for Tiffany…it’s not. I know that now. I think it had a lot to do with the baggage of our past.
FELICITY: Yours and Tiffany’s?
BEN: Yes…it’s stupid…but when somebody leaves you…you know, you wonder…what did I do wrong? How could I have stopped it from happening? Were they that unhappy and I just didn’t see it? You know questions like that…they go through your mind.
FELICITY: And these are the questions you had about Tiffany?
BEN: Sure. I mean you don’t spend that much time with someone and not wonder what it was that changed everything.
FELICITY: So the *kiss* was your attempt to figure that out? Wouldn’t it just have been easier to say…ask?
BEN: Okay…I’m doing a lousy job of explaining this…let me start over.
FELICITY: By all means…start over.
BEN: Um…Okay…I’ve never really talked to you about Tiffany before. I probably should have…Tiffany was a pretty major part of junior high and high school for me. She was pretty much my first…everything.
FELICITY: Uh…I don’t need to know that.
BEN: Right…sorry. Anyway we we’re together for a long time…like five years. When she first told me that she needed her space…I lost it…I was so mad. But then I just got bummed.
FELICITY: She hurt you, that’s understandable.
BEN: Yeah but it was more than that…I felt like by leaving she was saying I wasn’t good enough for her.
FELICITY: I’m sure that wasn’t the case.
BEN: Whether or not it was…whatever…it’s how I felt…It’s how I *still* felt when she came here to New York. I never…I mean it’s been over a year and half since we broke up…but I never let go of that feeling that if I’d been a better guy she wouldn’t have left. It wouldn’t have been so easy for her to leave.
FELICITY: Ben…I’m sorry that that’s how she made you feel…but what does it have to do with what’s happening with us?
BEN: Everything…I mean when Tiffany told me she wanted me back…it was sort of this ego boost…this verification that *she* screwed up by leaving…not the other way around that I *screwed* up and that’s why she left. I liked that feeling that it was her mistake…that she admitted that.
FELICITY: And that’s why the kiss happened? Because you were vindicated?
BEN: First of all…she kissed me…
FELICITY: Yes…but you kissed her back.
BEN: Yeah I know…that was *my* mistake…but you have to believe me…I knew the minute I did that whatever feelings I was holding on to…they were gone. I didn’t belong there any more.
FELICITY: And you couldn’t figure that out without kissing her?
BEN: I can’t take it back Felicity…I can only try to make things better
FELICITY: I don’t know how.
BEN: Neither do I…but I want us to try. I don’t want to lose you.
FELICITY: I’m trying really hard to not hate you…for what you’ve done…but I’m no where near being over it…I’m sorry.
BEN: Come on Felicity don’t do this…don’t turn this kiss into something important…because it wasn’t.
FELICITY: It’s not the kiss Ben…the kiss was the result.
BEN: The result? I don’t get it?
FELICITY: While I do have a problem with the kiss…I can get past that…eventually…what I can’t get past is the complete lack of regard you had for us…for what we had.
BEN: I don’t…I didn’t.
FELICITY: You had a choice to make last night Ben…fix things with me or figure out things with Tiffany…you went to Tiffany.
BEN DOES NOT RESPOND.
FELICITY: (cont.) That gesture to me meant that was your priority.
BEN: I know that’s how you see it…but it’s really not what was going on. I care about Tiffany…but it’s you I love…I wanted to make her understand that…I needed her to let go.
FELICITY: So letting her kiss you…was that part of the master plan?
BEN: God…no…how many times do I have to tell you…it was a mistake. It wasn’t going anywhere…it was a goodbye.
FELICITY: I want so much to believe that…to believe in you…but you hurt me Ben and I can’t make you feel better about that. I think you should leave.
BEN: (shocked) What?
FELICITY: I think you need to go.
BEN: Please…just forgive me…can’t you do that?
FELICITY: (crying) No…I can’t…not this soon. I’m sorry.
BEN: So that’s it? It’s over? You’re breaking up with me?
FELICITY: (tears are sliding down her cheeks) Yes.
FELICITY IS STANDING THERE WITH HER HEAD HANGING DOWN. BEN WHO IS UPSET. COMES AND STANDS DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HER. HE TAKES HER HEAD IN HIS HAND AND TILTS HER FACE UP UNTIL SHE IS STARING IN HIS EYES.
BEN: You don’t mean that.
FELICITY REMAINS SILENT STARING AT BEN.
BEN: Look me in the eyes and tell me…you don’t want to be with me anymore.
FELICITY LOOKING INTO BEN’S EYES. STARTS TO BACK AWAY BUT BEN PULLS HER BACK.
BEN: Tell me…tell me that’s what you want.
FELICITY: Wanting to be with you and being able to be with you are not the same. You know how you said when someone leaves you ask yourself what changed…the only answer I can come up with is…you changed.
BEN: I stepped back…I didn’t change. You said that nothing could come between us that we could work anything out…didn’t you?
FELICITY: I was naïve…I believed that…I couldn’t have been more wrong.
BEN PULLS FELICITY IN TOWARDS HIM AND STARTS KISSING HER. FELICITY WITH TEARS RUNNING DOWN HER FACE BEGINS TO KISS HIM BACK…BUT THEN BACKS AWAY.
FELICITY: That’s not the answer Ben. I don’t want to feel that close to you right now.
BEN TAKES HIS ARMS FROM AROUND FELICITY AND STEPS BACK
FELICITY: Please just…go.
BEN TAKES A LAST LONG LOOK AT FELICITY AND EXITS HER ROOM. FELICITY FALLS ON THE BED CRYING.
SALLY: (VO to Felicity) Dear Felicity…I know you’re hurting. I wish I had the magic words…the thing to say to make it all better…but I don’t. Betrayal no matter the degree is still something that changes things. It shatters trust and builds walls between two people. It’s ironic to think that what started such a strong bond between you and Ben…a kiss. Is the same thing that is now testing that bond. I know you think Ben let it happen because he still had feelings for Tiffany…I tend to believe he was for lack of a better word *flattered* that she wanted him back …after all she was the one who broke it off with him. I’m not saying what Ben did was good…or right…I’m just saying maybe…it’s not that tragic…that if you step outside the situation for a minute…maybe you’ll see that not every kiss has deep meaning or purpose. Sometimes we kiss to say hello… and yes…sometimes we kiss to say…goodbye.