Written by: Juana
Story Summary: Felicity confides in Julie about her night with Ben. Still searching for answers Felicity is put face to face with the reality of the situation. Elena goes to the mat for her friend and she strikes a chord in Ben that leads him to Felicity’s door for a little truth telling.
Disclaimer: I do not own the main characters in my story. They belong to the brilliant writers and creators of the hit WB show.
INT. FELICITY’S ROOM-NIGHT
FELICITY IS SITTING ON HER WINDOW LEDGE ILLUMINATED BY THE MOONLIGHT. SHE IS WATCHING BEN WHO IS SLEEPING IN HER BED.
FELICITY: (VO) Dear Sally…somehow I knew without a word being said…that nothing was really different for us…that last night was the result of over taxed emotions and under used hormones. I dreaded him waking up…knowing this.
AS FELICITY IS WATCHING BEN SLEEP SHE BEGINS TO CRY. BEN BEGINS TO STIR AND TURNS OPENING HIS EYES…HE LOOKS AT HER CRYING AND SITS UP IN BED.
BEN: Come here.
FELICITY WRAPPED IN NOTHING BUT A SHEET GOES OVER AND SITS DOWN BESIDE HIM. HE WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND HER.
BEN: I know we need to talk about…what happened here …but not tonight…okay?
FELICITY NODS HER HEAD YES AND BEN TURNS HER TOWARD HIM AND GIVES HER A TENDER FUFILLING KISS. HE LIES BACK DOWN ON THE BED WITH HER WRAPPED IN HIS ARMS. HE KISSES THE TOP OF HER HEAD AND CLOSES HIS EYES.
INT. FELICITY’S ROOM-MORNING
FELICITY WAKES UP…ALONE. BEN HAS GONE. LEAVING NOTHING BUT A NOTE. FELICITY OPENS IT AND STARTS TO CRY.
FELICITY: So here’s what the note said…Dear Felicity…God I don’t even know where to begin…I’m watching you sleep right now…you look…so beautiful, and peaceful. I want so much to be here when you wake up, but I think it would only make things harder. You asked me yesterday to respect that you needed space…to be away from me. I’m sorry I didn’t respect that. I don’t know how to explain to you what last night was all about…without sounding like a jerk. So the only thing I can think to say is that, I’m sorry. I realize I had no right to ask you to just *be there* for me last night…it was very selfish of me. I wish I could tell you that last night put things right…that I found some way past all the feelings of betrayal and mistrust. But I think we both know that wasn’t what happened. I’m sorry I just keep making this harder and harder…please forgive me. Love Always, Ben.
FELICITY AND JULIE ARE SITTING AT A TABLE EATING LUNCH.
JULIE: And you’re just gonna let him get away with that?
FELICITY: It wasn’t all him Julie…I was there too. I could have stopped it…but I didn’t.
JULIE: Okay…but why…why didn’t you stop it? Especially if you knew it was just going to be that one night?
FELICITY: I don’t know. I keep asking myself that same thing. It just seemed…right…at the time.
JULIE: Yeah…but now don’t you feel…used?
FELICITY: No…I mean its Ben…not some total stranger.
JULIE: Do I need to remind you that it’s Ben who is also sleeping with Bliss?
FELICITY: No you don’t. In fact I’d appreciate it if you didn’t.
JULIE: Fine…I won’t go there. But I think Ben owes you a better explanation then just…I’m sorry.
ELENA WALKS INTO THE CAFETERIA. FELICITY SEES HER.
FELICITY: Here comes Elena…whatever you do…don’t tell her…she’ll never understand.
JULIE: I’m not sure I understand.
JULIE: Fine…I won’t tell her.
ELENA WALKS UP TO THE TABLE. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE DIDN’T GET VERY MUCH SLEEP.
JULIE: Wow…you look horrible…are you okay?
ELENA: (sarcastic) Thanks…I didn’t get too much sleep.
FELICITY: (concerned) Why?
ELENA: I’ll tell you later…right now I was wondering…Have you seen Noel?
JULIE: Did you guys have a fight?
ELENA: No…but something is definitely up.
AS ELENA SAYS THESE WORDS NOEL COMES WALKING INTO THE CAFERTERIA. HE WALKS OVER TO THE GIRLS.
NOEL: (to Elena) I need to talk to you.
ELENA AND NOEL WALK AWAY.
JULIE: I wonder what’s up there?
NOEL AND ELENA ARE STANDING IN FRONT OF HIS ROOM. NOEL OPENS THE DOOR AND ELENA WALKS IN. SHE LOOKS AROUND…STUNNED.
ELENA: What’s going on here Noel?
THERE ARE PACKING BOXES EVERYWHERE…SOMEONE IS DEFINITELY MOVING OUT.
NOEL: I have to move out of the dorm.
ELENA: What? Why?
NOEL: I resigned my RA position.
NOEL: Because…I’m a lousy RA. If it wasn’t for Ben…Sheri might have jumped…She needed someone who knew what they were doing…her life depended on it, and I let her down.
ELENA: Noel…Sheri is okay.
NOEL: No thanks to me.
ELENA: You can’t help everyone Noel…some people…don’t want to be helped.
NOEL: But Sheri…she did. And do you know what I was doing while she was up on that roof contemplating jumping? I was making love to you.
NOEL: It’s the truth Elena…I was taking care of me…when I should have been there for her.
ELENA: You had no way of knowing.
NOEL: But I would have known…if I’d picked up the phone.
ELENA: Are you saying this is my fault?
NOEL: I didn’t have to listen to you.
ELENA: (stunned) You think this is my fault.
NOEL: I didn’t say that.
ELENA: You don’t have to…it’s in the tone of your voice.
NOEL: I’m not blaming anybody but myself…which is why I resigned.
ELENA: We should talk about this.
NOEL: It’s already done. I turned my resignation in this morning. I am officially no longer this floor’s Resident Advisor.
ELENA: Where are you going to stay?
NOEL: I’ll find an apartment…something cheap.
ELENA: I can’t let you do that Noel…you’ll stay with me.
NOEL: Really? Are you sure?
ELENA: Yes…I think you’re making a mistake resigning…but if that’s your choice…then you’ll live with me.
INT: NEW YORK GYM-DAY
FELICITY, ELENA AND JULIE ARE RIDING THE STATIONARY BIKES.
FELICITY: He did what?
ELENA: He resigned.
JULIE: I don’t understand…I mean Sheri is okay.
ELENA: I know…I tried to talk some sense in to him…believe me. The last thing I wanted this year was a roommate.
FELICITY: Noel is going to be living with you?
ELENA: Yes…(concerned) Do you think it’s a bad idea?
FELICITY: Well…yes…sort of. I mean you’re pretty independent…and you liked having a private room last year.
ELENA: I know…but it’s not like we aren’t together all the time anyway.
FELICITY: True…but now…well now you’ll really be together *all* the time.
ELENA: Yeah…thanks for your vote of confidence.
FELICITY: I’m just trying to be honest.
ELENA: Fine…Julie can be my support on this one.
JULIE: I’d really like to Elena…but I kind of agree with Felicity on this one.
ELENA: Great…deserted from all directions.
BLISS COMES WALKING INTO THE GYM WITH BEN. FELICITY COMPLETELY STOPS PEDALING…AND JUST WATCHES AS BLISS KISSES BEN LOVINGLY ON THE CHEEK. AS THE KISS MEETS BEN’S CHEEK…BEN’S EYES MEET FELICITYS…AND THE SMILE THAT WAS FORMERLY ON HIS LIPS IS INSTANTLY ERASED…REPLACED BY A LOOK OF CONFUSION AND GUILT.
JULIE: (to Felicity) What’s wrong?…why did you stop pedaling?
JULIE FOLLOWS FELICITY’S GAZE AND SEE’S BEN AND BLISS. BLISS IS STANDING WITH HER BACK FACING THEM AND BEN IS TRYING REALLY HARD TO LISTEN TO HER CONVERSATION…BUT HE IS OBVIOULSY DISTRACTED.
JULIE: Jesus…Felicity…I’m so sorry.
ELENA: (confused) What’s going on?
JULIE: Ben is here with Bliss.
ELENA: Since when is this a big deal?
FELICITY: ( getting off her bike) I have to get out of here…I can’t breathe.
FELICITY LOOKS LIKE SHE IS ABOUT TO BURST INTO TEARS. ELENA COMES OVER TO HER AND PUTS HER ARM AROUND HER.
ELENA: Why do I get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me?
FELICITY: (VO) Elena was definitely right about that…but before I even got the opportunity to say another word…Bliss came over to the three of us…minus Ben.
BLISS: What a great surprise. I didn’t know you guys belonged here.
JULIE: Yeah. Small world.
BLISS: Do you guy’s mind if I work out with you? Ben always does all the heavy weights…I prefer the aerobic exercise.
THERE IS AN UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE AS THE THREE GIRLS HESITATE TO ANSWER. FINALLY ELENA SPEAKS UP.
ELENA: Gosh…normally that would be great…but we…just finished up. Sorry.
BLISS: Oh…okay…maybe some other time.
BLISS WALKS OVER TO THE TREADMILLS AND GETS ON TO START EXERCISING. ELENA TURNS TO FELICITY.
ELENA: Care to explain what’s going on here?
FELICITY: I will…just not here…okay?
ELENA: Fine…but since I’m pretty sure I just saved your ass…I will be requiring an explanation.
FELICITY: (VO) So Elena, Julie and I went to the juice bar in the club and I told her everything and she was as I predicted…livid. She wanted Ben’s blood and she wanted it now. Julie and I both tried to stop her but she was way too angry…all I could do was pray that she didn’t find Ben…a prayer that unfortunately went unanswered.
ELENA SEES BEN LIFTING WEIGHTS AND WALKS PURPOSEFULLY OVER AND STANDS IN FRONT OF HIM.
ELENA: (to Ben) I want to talk to you.
BEN: (sits up on bench) What about?
BEN: (realizing what this is about) Don’t get involved in this Elena.
ELENA: (raising voice) I became involved the minute you decided to *use* my girl.
BEN: I did not use her…and I would appreciate it if you could keep your voice down.
ELENA: How can you sit here and say that?
BEN: Because it’s the truth.
ELENA: So then you’re planning on telling Bliss about it?
BEN: Please Elena…just let me handle this…okay?
ELENA: Thing is Ben…I don’t see you handling it. I see you trying to deny it even happened.
BEN: That’s not what I’m doing. Believe me I know it happened. The thing is…I shouldn’t have let it.
ELENA: Let it? Please…don’t delude yourself…you made it happen…you went to her…not the other way around.
BEN: I know…okay…but what’s done is done…I can’t take it back.
ELENA: No but you can own up to it…be a man about it.
BEN: What do you want me to do? Tell Bliss?
ELENA: For starters.
BEN: And what would that accomplish? I’ll tell you what…nothing. Because the truth is…even if I wasn’t with Bliss…I would not be with Felicity.
ELENA: I thought you loved her.
BEN: Dammit Elena…I do…but it’s just not that simple. You know the reasons why Felicity and I broke up…and those reasons still exist…she didn’t just magically not sleep with Eli.
ELENA: Stop kidding yourself Ben…Eli…he’s just an excuse…because you’re too afraid to let yourself be happy.
BEN: You think I’m afraid to be happy? That’s such a load of crap. I think it’s just easier for you to paint Felicity as this sainted friend…who got screwed.
ELENA: Literally…but the way I see it Ben…the one who’s really getting screwed here is you. You’re letting go of the best thing you ever had because your pride is bigger then your IQ.
BEN: You’re making absolutely no sense. This is not about my pride…or my fears. This is about trust…something every real relationship has. How am I ever supposed to trust her again?
ELENA: You used to trust her.
BEN: Until she gave me reason not to.
ELENA: Don’t you think she deserves a chance to earn some of that trust back?
BEN: I think…
BEN STOPS SHORT AS BLISS WALKS UP TO HIM AND ELENA.
BLISS: ( to Ben) Hey…are you about ready to go?
BEN: Yeah…I’m ready.
ELENA: We’ll finish this conversation later.
BEN: (upset and angry) Fine.
ELENA: (also angry) Fine.
ELENA WALKS AWAY IN A HUFF. BEN GATHERS UP HIS TOWEL AND GYM BAG. HE IS OBVIOUSLY IN A VERY BAD MOOD.
BLISS: What we’re the two of you talking about?
BEN: Nothing important.
BLISS: She seemed pretty steamed.
BEN: Yeah…she can get that way.
INT. ELENA’S ROOM-DAY
ELENA HAS COME BACK FROM WORKING OUT. SHE IS SITTING ON THE BED DRINKING A BOTTLED WATER. NOEL IS SORTING THROUGH A BOX…LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.
ELENA: He’s just so damn stubborn…he loves her Noel.
NOEL: Yeah…I know…but maybe it’s better if we just stay out of this one.
ELENA: And let him get away with this? I don’t think so.
NOEL: Felicity is a big girl Elena…she could have told him no.
ELENA: This is not Felicity’s fault…he knows what buttons to push…he used her Noel…plain and simple.
NOEL: I don’t know Elena…its not like he couldn’t get some from Bliss whenever he wanted. I think he did it because it was her…not because he was trolling for sex.
ELENA: All the more reason to own up to his feelings. He is in huge denial.
NOEL: Maybe…but that’s his call. You can’t make him get back together with her.
ELENA: We’ll see about that.
INT. FELICITY’S ROOM-NIGHT
FELICITY IS SITTING ON HER BED…READING A BOOK. THERE IS A KNOCK AT HER DOOR. SHE GETS UP TO ANSWER IT…ITS BEN.
BEN: Can I come in?
FELICITY: I don’t think that’s such a good idea.
BEN: So you want to have this conversation where everyone can hear? Not that everyone doesn’t already know our business.
FELICITY: Fine…come in.
BEN COMES IN FELICITY SHUTS THE DOOR BEHIND HIM. BEN SITS DOWN ON THE BED.
BEN: I’m trying to understand why you felt the need to bring everyone into what happened the other night…can you explain that to me?
FELICITY: I needed someone to talk to…so I told Julie.
BEN: That explains how Lyn knows. But why Elena? I mean you obviously already had Julie to talk to.
FELICITY: She knew something was up…I couldn’t lie to her.
BEN: You could have told her it was none of her business.
FELICITY: Look…I’m sorry if Elena was hard on you…she gets carried away sometimes with the whole *protecting her girls* thing.
BEN: It’s just I never expected it to become such public knowledge.
FELICITY: Never expected it…or never *wanted* it to be? That’s what this is really about…isn’t it? You’re afraid the more people who know…the bigger chance there is of Bliss finding out.
BEN: It’s not like that.
FELICITY: No…it’s exactly like that…God…how could I have been so stupid…here I am feeling sorry for you…thinking what happened was beyond our control…but you knew what you were after…a meaningless…one night stand.
BEN: You're way off.
FELICITY: Am I? I don’t think so. There’s just one thing I don’t understand…why me?
FELICITY: Why did you have to sleep with me? Tired of Bliss already?
BEN: Don’t do this Felicity…you're being petty.
FELICITY: Pardon me for being…confused. I’m just looking for some answers…why are you so hesitant to provide them? Do you think I can’t take the truth?
BEN: (frustrated ) Every time I tell you the truth…you discard it for one of your way out conclusions…so why should I bother?
FELICITY: Why are you here Ben?
BEN: I honestly don’t know now. I mean I came her because I thought…maybe Elena was right…that I needed to own up to certain things…but now…you’ve obviously painted the picture the way you see it…so maybe there’s no point in trying to make you see different. You really want to hear that I used you…that it was just all about the sex…so fine…I used you. You were nothing but a meaningless one-night stand. Is that what you wanted from me? Did I answer all your questions?
FELICITY IS STANDING IN FRONT OF BEN AND AS HE SAYS THESE WORDS SHE SNAPS AND SLAPS HIM HARD ACROSS THE FACE. BEN IS STUNNED BUT REACTS QUICKLY AND GRABS HER HAND BEFORE SHE CAN SLAP HIM AGAIN.
BEN: (very angry) Don’t ever do that again! You can be the biggest bitch in the world if you want…and I will deal with that…but I will not let you ever raise your hand to me again. (sets her forcefully down on the bed and stands towering over her) Do you understand?
FELICITY: (realizes her mistake) I’m so sorry.
BEN: Why are we doing this Felicity…what is this solving?
FELICITY: (starting to cry) I just wanted it to mean something to you…it hurts that it didn’t.
BEN: When did this become about who could hurt each other the most? I came here to tell you the truth…I’m so tired of you second-guessing everything I say to you. I just want you to listen…will you do that?
FELICITY NODS HER HEAD YES.
BEN: (cont.) Good. I came here today because in some ways…I think Elena was right…I am afraid to be happy with you…because every time I have been…I just end up losing. And every time I lose…it’s worse than the time before. I haven’t worked things out with you because honestly…I don’t know how. Then along comes Bliss…and she is completely different from you. And she knows what it’s like to be hurt by someone you care about.
FELICITY: And you think I don’t?
BEN: You think me kissing Tiffany was equal to you sleeping with Eli?
FELICITY: I’m sorry…I didn’t realize that we were keeping score.
BEN: This is not about keeping score…this is about keeping trust. We lost that…long before I kissed Tiffany or you slept with Eli. Maybe we never really had it.
FELICITY: How can you say that? I completely trusted you in Palo Alto.
BEN: I know…but some how from there to here…we stopped trusting each other. I don’t know maybe it’s because there was no one else in Palo Alto but us…all I know is it happened…and this is the result.
FELICITY: Well *this* sucks. I could never have imagined us being reduced to no strings…sex.
BEN: That’s not what that night was about…you need to believe me…I made love to you that night…nothing less.
FELICITY: I want to believe that…but if that were true…it would have changed things for us…right?
BEN: Maybe…if it had been a planned attempt to straighten things out…but it wasn’t. That night…for me anyway…was about being with the woman who is so much a part of me it hurts. I just felt like I couldn’t go one more minute without feeling that closeness with you again. I’d been fighting it for so long…I just gave in…I wanted to ease some of the pain…for both of us…I never meant for it to create new pain…I didn’t really think that far ahead. I know I’ve said this before…but I really am sorry.
FELICITY IS COMPLETELY WEEPING AT BEN’S BEAUTIFUL CONFESSION. BEN PULLS HER UP OFF THE BED…THEY ARE CLOSE…BUT ONLY THEIRS HANDS WHERE THEIR FINGERS ARE INTERTWINED ARE TOUCHING…YOU CAN TELL THEIR BODY’S ACHE TO BE CLOSER.
BEN: It would be so easy to just sweep you into my arms and do a repeat performance of the other night…but I think we both know that’s not a good idea…well it’s a good idea…just probably not the right one. I don’t want to make any promises to you about the future…but I need for you to understand…no matter how bad things are for us…I have never stopped loving you. For what it’s worth…it’s a pretty permanent condition.
FELICITY STEPS CLOSER TO BEN AND BRINGS HIS HEAD DOWN. RESTING HIS LIPS ON HERS. SLOWLY AND DELIBERATELY SHE BEGINS KISSING HIM…TRYING TO BREAK HIS WILL. BEN WANTS TO BACK AWAY BUT FEELS NAILED TO THE FLOOR. HE LETS HER KISS HIM AND BEFORE HE KNOWS IT HE IS KISSING HER BACK WITH COMPLETE ABANDON.
EXT. DORM HALL-NIGHT
LAURA A RESIDENT…NOTICES AN UNFAMILIAR GUY ROAMING DOWN THE DARKENED HALLS.
LAURA: Can I help you?
GUY: Uh…no actually…It’s been a while since I’ve been here…but I think I’ve got my bearings now.
THE GUY WALKS OVER TO FELICITY’S DOOR.
LAURA: Are you looking for Felicity?
GUY: Yeah…this is her room…right?
LAURA: (smiles) Yeah…right.
GUY: (smiles back) Thanks.
THE GUY KNOCKS ON FELICITY’S DOOR.
INT. FELICITY’S ROOM-BEN AND FELICITY HAVE PROGRESSED TO THE BED AND THINGS ARE DEFINITELY OUT OF CONTROL. AT THE SOUND OF THE KNOCK AT THE DOOR…BEN STOPS WHAT HE IS DOING AND SITS UP.
BEN: (runs his hand through his hair) What are we doing? We can’t do this.
FELICITY: (pulling Ben back down) If we don’t answer…they’ll go away. (kissing Ben on lips)
BEN PULLS AWAY FROM HER.
BEN: You know what I mean…I should be going…and you should get the door.
FELICITY: Please…don’t go.
BEN: I can’t stay here Felicity…this is obviously not in our control…I should leave.
FELICITY: I know you should…but please…don’t.
FELICITY GETS UP OFF THE BED. BEN RELUCTANTLY SITS THERE. FELICITY GOES TO ANSWER THE DOOR. THE GUY WHO WAS STANDING THERE IS WALKING AWAY.
FELICITY: (steps outside her door) Excuse me…Can I help you?
GUY TURNS BACK AROUND…IN THE DARK HALLWAY FELICITY CAN’T DETERMINE IF THIS IS SOMEONE SHE KNOWS OR NOT. HE WALKS TOWARD HER AND AS GETS UP TO WHERE SHE CAN SEE HIM…
FELICITY: (complete shock) Eli?
INT. FELICITY’S ROOM-NIGHT
BEN IS STILL SITTING ON THE BED. AT THE MENTION OF ELI’S NAME WE SEE BEN’S LOOK…A LOOK OF UTTER DISBELIEF.
ELI WALKS UP TO FELICITY AND ENGULFS HER IN A HUG.
SALLY: (VO) Dear Felicity…I guess you could say life is just full of surprises. Emmett told me today that he needed some space. I asked him…why? And he said because it’s too hard to live in limbo with me. I guess I had that coming. I think I better understand now how hard it is for you to wait and hope Ben will work through his issues. We spend so much time trying to deal with our own dilemmas, that we often forget what other people are going through. I’m not saying I neglected Emmett’s feelings…but I definitely made them second priority. I hope you’re not doing the same with Ben. Try and remember for every pain that you experience from the relationship…he is experiencing it too. There is really no right or wrong in relationship…just compromise. Nobody should get everything they want…while someone else gets nothing. I failed to realize this with Emmett…so I’m begging you to remember it takes two equal partners to make a relationship work. If Ben is not ready to work things out…then you have a choice to make…you can wait…and hope…or you can stop hoping…and stop waiting.