Time to Heal
Written by: Juana
Story summary: Ben tries many ways to deal with his pain, but eventually decides the best thing for him to do is to leave town to figure things out. He goes to visit a friend in search of some answers. Julie has a hard time dealing with Felicity’s decision about the baby…which makes Felicity rethink her choice.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story. They belong to the brilliant writers and creators of the hit WB show.
INT: FELICITY’S ROOM-NIGHT
FELICITY: (VO) Dear Sally…well the truth has been told…and the damage has been done. Ben is nowhere to be found and Eli…well let’s just say Eli didn’t take to the idea of being a dad.
FLASHBACK:
FELICITY HAS JUST TOLD ELI THAT HE IS THE FATHER OF THE BABY SHE’S CARRYING.
ELI: This has to be a mistake…I mean it was just the one time.
FELICITY: I’m sorry Eli…but this isn’t exactly the way I wanted things to be either.
ELI: How can you be so sure that it’s not Ben’s?
FELICITY: Because I am Eli. What possible reason would I have for wanting it to be you?
ELI: It’s just…I’m nineteen Felicity…I can’t be a dad.
FELICITY: (VO) So needless to say he was thrilled when I told him I was considering ending the pregnancy. I mean on top of being young…I now knew I had absolutely no support from the father. The decision just seemed to be making itself…Eli didn’t want the baby…what possible reason would there be for keeping it?
CUT TO: JULIE’S ROOM-NIGHT
JULIE IS SITTING ON HER BED, PLAYING HER GUITAR. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. JULIE GOES TO ANSWER IT AND FINDS A TIPSY BEN.
JULIE: Ben?
BEN: Hey…can I come in?
JULIE: Yeah…sure…are you drunk?
BEN: Yes…yes…I am.
BEN SITS DOWN ON JULIE’S BED AND JULIE COMES OVER AND STANDS IN FRONT OF HIM.
JULIE: Okay…so why are you here?
BEN: I need a friend…will you be my friend?
JULIE: Sure…tell me what’s going on.
BEN: My girlfriend…she’s having a baby.
JULIE: What?
BEN: She didn’t tell you?
JULIE: Wow…um…no.
BEN: Then this next parts gonna kill you.
JULIE: Next part?
BEN: (cynical laugh) It’s not mine.
JULIE: Oh my god.
BEN: Yeah…isn’t that just…great?
JULIE: Ben…I’m so sorry…but…who…I mean…do you know…who the father is?
BEN: Eli.
JULIE: Felicity is going to have a baby with…Eli?
BEN: Yep…that pretty much covers it.
JULIE: You must be so…upset.
BEN: Nope…I passed upset about four maybe five drinks ago…now I’m just pissed.
JULIE: I can imagine.
BEN: I’ve just had it…I can’t take the drama that is* Felicity* anymore.
JULIE: You don’t mean that Ben.
BEN: Yes…I do. I mean I let Tiffany give me one innocent kiss and she’s goes and hops into bed with her ex-boyfriend….who she assured me she was not interested in anymore.
JULIE: So that’s how it happened?
BEN: Yeah…apparently.
JULIE: So you and Felicity…that’s it…you’re just giving up?
BEN: What else can I do?
JULIE: I don’t know…it’s just…you guys are so good together.
BEN: Were…were good together…now she’s good with Eli.
JULIE: But you love her Ben…and she loves you.
BEN: And yet she still managed to forget that for one night with Eli.
JULIE: I don’t know the whole story Ben…but I do know Felicity…she doesn’t always think before she acts…I’m sure it didn’t mean anything…I know she was hurting…a broken heart can make you do unpredictable things.
BEN ABRUPTLY STANDS UP AND PULLS JULIE INTO HIS ARMS AND BEGINS KISSING HER. JULIE COMPLETELY STUNNED PUSHS HIM AWAY.
JULIE: What was that?
BEN: A kiss.
JULIE: Why did you do that?
BEN: I thought it would be okay…I thought you wanted me to.
JULIE: Come on Ben…you know I didn’t. I know what you’re doing…and believe me…it’s not gonna help you feel better…to have sex…with one of Felicity’s friends.
BEN: That wasn’t my intention.
JULIE: (fully realizing) Yes it was…and I’m sorry Ben…but it’s not gonna happen. I know you’re hurting and I want to help…but I draw the line at this little revenge plan you’ve got going.
BEN: (ashamed) God…Julie…I’m sorry…I just…she just has me so…confused. I can’t stand thinking about her and what she’s done…but I just plain can’t stop thinking about her…and what I’ve…what we’ve…lost.
JULIE: I know…it really…sucks.
BEN: I should go. Thanks…you’re a good friend…Felicity’s lucky.
JULIE: I’m you’re friend too Ben…remember that.
BEN: Yeah…I will.
CUT TO BEN’S LOFT-NIGHT
BEN COMES HOME AFTER TALKING TO JULIE. ELI IS SITTING ON THE COUCH STARING AT THE TELEVISION WITH THE SOUND DOWN.
BEN: Eli?
ELI STAYS IN THE SAME POSITION NOT ACKNOWLEDGING BEN.
BEN WALKS PAST HIM. HEADED TOWARDS HIS ROOM.
ELI: You must hate me.
BEN: (turns back around) No…I mostly…envy you.
ELI: (surprised) Envy?
BEN: Yeah.
ELI: How could you envy me? I’m nineteen years old and depending on what she decides…I could very well end up being a father.
BEN: Yeah…okay…now I hate you.
ELI: So you’re telling me…you would want her to keep the baby?
BEN: Yes…absolutely.
ELI: Why?
BEN: Because I love her…which obviously…you don’t.
ELI: Well you’re a better man than me. Kids are just such a huge responsibility…I know because I’m still one…I mean I still call my mom to bail me out when I screw up….I’m not ready to be a father.
BEN: Maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to go with out the condom.
ELI: Isn’t that a little like the pot calling the kettle black…I’m pretty sure Lyssa didn’t get pregnant all on her own.
BEN: Maybe not…but that pregnancy wasn’t the result of me being irresponsible…just foolish enough to believe her when she said she had the birth control covered.
CUT TO: FELICTY’S ROOM-NIGHT
FELICITY IS SITTING ON HER BED GETTING READY TO DO A TAPE TO SALLY. THERE IS A KNOCK AT HER DOOR. FELICITY GETS UP AND OPENS IT AND FINDS JULIE STANDING THERE.
FELICITY: Hey.
JULIE: So how are you feeling?
FELICITY: Oh…fine.
JULIE: Can I come in?
FELICITY: Sure.
FELICITY STEPS ASIDE AND LETS JULIE ENTER THE ROOM. AS SOON AS SHE DOES SHE CLOSES THE DOOR.
JULIE: So…Ben just came by my room.
FELICITY: (shocked) He did? Was he okay?
JULIE: Yeah…he was a little drunk…and plenty hurt…but other than that…he’s fine.
FELICITY: I guess you know then.
JULIE: Yes…he told me…my question is…why didn’t you?
FELICITY: I don’t know…I started to a couple of times…but I knew you were dating Lyn…and he’s Ben’s friend…and Ben didn’t even know yet.
JULIE: You thought I would tell him?
FELICITY: I just thought the less people who knew before I told Ben…the better…I’m sorry.
JULIE: It’s okay…It’s just…I wish I had known…so I could have helped…this has to be a pretty hard time for you.
FELICITY: That’s generous…this is a catastrophic time…I’ve lost Ben…the best thing to ever happen to me.
JULIE: I’m sure that will work itself out…he still loves you…besides think of all you’ve got to look forward to.
FELICITY: Such as?
JULIE: Well being a mom for one…it’s a gift Felicity…you should be thankful.
FELICITY: Oh…the thing is Julie…I’m pretty sure…I’m not gonna keep it.
JULIE: Really? You mean you’re going to put your baby up for adoption?
FELICITY: No…that’s not what I meant.
JULIE: You can’t possibly mean that…Felicity are you going to have an abortion?
FELICITY: (looking down) I think so.
JULIE: (shocked) But why…I mean…how could you?
FELICITY: (getting defensive) I don’t really have much of a choice Julie…Eli doesn’t want to be a dad…and honestly…I’m just not ready to be a mom.
JULIE: Fine…I understand that…so you don’t want to be a mom…but hey…maybe this baby should have some say…maybe he or she does want to be a son…or a daughter.
FELICITY: Julie…I know this is hard for you.
JULIE: Yeah it is…cause well where would I be if my mom had decided *not* to have me?
FELICITY REMAINS SILENT.
JULIE: (cont.) I’ll tell you where…not here with you. Think about it Felicity…that baby inside you…eighteen years from now…they may wonder why you didn’t keep them…but at least they will be alive to wonder about that.
FELICITY: I just don’t think I could live with not knowing how my son or daughter was doing in the world.
JULIE: But you could live with not giving them a chance to have a good home…to have a life?
FELICITY: (VO) So this was the other side of the coin…could I live with myself if I didn’t have the baby? Julie had some really strong arguments for keeping the baby. I’m just so confused Sally…I want so bad to just curl up with Ben and talk it out with him…but I can’t.
CUT TO FELICITY’S ROOM-EARLY NEXT MORNING
FELICITY IS ASLEEP IN BED. THERE IS A KNOCK AT HER DOOR. FELICITY DRAGS HERSELF OUT OF BED TO ANSWER IT.
MARC: Good morning.
FELICITY: Yeah…uh huh…what’s up Marc?
MARC: (hands her an envelope) There was a guy here earlier…he was pacing back and forth in front of your door…he seemed to want to knock…but he didn’t…anyway he gave me this…to give to you.
FELICITY: (takes envelope) Thanks.
MARC: Sure.
MARC WALKS AWAY AND FELICITY GOES BACK INTO HER ROOM AND CLOSES THE DOOR.
SHE OPENS THE ENVELOPE IT IS A LETTER FROM BEN.
CUT TO SALLY’S SANTE FE APARTMENT:
IT IS A WEEK LATER AND SHE IS PLAYING FELICITY’S TAPE.
FELICITY: ( VO) So the letter Marc gave me…it was from Ben…here’s what it said. Dear Felicity…I don’t even know where to start. I want so much to say things to make you feel better…but the bitter side of me just isn’t there yet. What you’ve done…I think you described it as unforgivable…it’s made me see a side of you…one I’m not very fond of. I always knew I had the ability to hurt you…but I never thought it would be the other way around. I trusted you and you let me down…pretty badly. I can’t even believe that a month ago we were so solid…so in love. I’m not saying I no longer love you…that would just be cruel…but my love is definitely being tested…a test I’m not sure I’ll be able to pass. So you see it’s the thoughts like that that scare me…which is why I’m leaving for awhile…I need to step back from the situation and figure things out and I can’t do that here…So don’t worry about me…and please take care of yourself while I’m gone…Even though I don’t want to…I’m still thinking about you…Take care…Ben.
So I called Ben’s loft after I read the letter Sally and sure enough he’s gone…no one really knows where but I can’t help but be worried that he’s never coming back…I don’t mean to New York…because he still has school…I mean to me.
SALLY SHUTS OFF THE RECORDER AND GOES INTO THE KITCHEN TO GET A GLASS OF MILK. SHE SITS DOWN AND PUTS A NEW TAPE INTO HER RECORDER AND PUSHES PLAY.
SALLY: (VO) Dear Felicity…I applaud Ben’s willingness to (interrupted by doorbell)
SALLY SHUTS OFF THE RECORDER AND GOES TO ANSWER THE DOOR.
SALLY: Ben?
BEN: Yeah…I guess I’m the last person you expected to see?
SALLY: That is true…would you like to come in?
BEN: (walks inside) Thanks.
SALLY MOTIONS BEN INTO THE LIVINGROOM.
SALLY: Have a seat.
BEN SITS DOWN ON THE COUCH.
SALLY: Would you like something to drink or eat?
BEN: Yeah something to drink would be good.
SALLY: I have soda…some juice…and Emmett has some beer.
BEN: Do you think Emmett would mind if I snagged one of his beers?
SALLY: I’ll cover for you.
SALLY GOES INTO THE KITCHEN AND GET’S BEN A BEER AND COMES BACK AND HANDS IT TO HIM. THEN SHE SITS IN THE CHAIR ACROSS FROM HIM.
SALLY: So what are you doing here Ben?
BEN: I came here because you’re like Felicity’s best friend…so I know you know what’s going on.
SALLY: Yes…I do.
BEN: Well Felicity has always told me how you always know the right thing to say…or do. So I came here for some advice.
SALLY: You traveled all the way here from New York for advice?
BEN: Yeah…I’m desperate.
SALLY: Apparently…but I’m not sure I’ll be any help.
BEN: I was willing to give it a shot.
SALLY: Okay…fair enough. What are you looking for advice on?
BEN: I want to know how I’m suppose to get past this…get my life back to normal.
SALLY: Normal? That’s kind of an odd word…don’t you think?
BEN: I guess I’ve never really thought about it.
SALLY: Well here’s the deal Ben…I can give you advice…but in my experience…the answers you’re looking for…you already know them…if you dig deep enough and ask the right questions.
BEN: I don’t understand.
SALLY: Do you love Felicity?
BEN: Yes.
SALLY: Okay good…you’re off to a good start. Are you mad at her?
BEN: (pauses) No…mostly disappointed.
SALLY: Okay…we can work with disappointment. Are you prepared to lose her?
BEN: (pauses) I don’t know.
SALLY: All right…that’s a little shaky…buy you’re still doing good. In your opinion what’s the worse part of this situation?
BEN: (contemplates) There’s so much to choose from.
SALLY: Yeah…but you can only pick one…you’re not allowed more than that.
BEN: I guess…not feeling close to her.
SALLY: Ooh…that’s really good. You see Ben…you know the answers…you’ve just been letting the pain cloud you from the truth.
BEN: The truth?
SALLY: You love her…and you don’t want to lose her.
BEN: So then why can’t I get past this?
SALLY: Because healing takes time…but knowing what you want…that’s half the battle. What you’re going through right now…it’s the ultimate test of a relationship…betrayal. I can’t make you feel better about that…only you can.
BEN: So are you saying I should forget about what happened and get things back the way they were?
SALLY: I wish for both your sakes that it was that easy. What I’m suggesting is work on forgiving her. I don’t think you’ll ever forget…but it will become less vivid with time.
BEN: So then…become her friend again…and see what happens from there?
SALLY: I think that’s an excellent idea. She could really use some friends right about now.
BEN: Felicity was right…you do know the right things to say.
SALLY: It’s a gift.
LATER THAT DAY:
SALLY IS SITTING IN HER CHAIR WITH THE TAPE RECORDER. SHE PRESSES REWIND TO START OVER AT THE BEGINNING.
SALLY: (VO) Dear Felicity…I wouldn’t worry about Ben. He’s a good guy with a pretty level head on his shoulders…and beyond that…he loves you. I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt. Give him the opportunity to heal…and I think he will come around. I know that you’re dealing with a lot right now…but so is he. He may be physically fine…but his heart has had some pretty major damage. And please don’t worry about him while he’s gone…I can’t explain it…but I know he’s fine. Talk to you soon…Love Sally
SALLY CLICKS OFF HER RECORDER AND SETS IT DOWN ON THE TABLE. SHE WALKS TO THE DOOR OF HER BEDROOM AND PEEKS IN. BEN IS LYING ON HER BED…FAST ASLEEP.